Sarah Henn Hayward

Sarah Henn HaywardSarah Henn HaywardSarah Henn Hayward

Sarah Henn Hayward

Sarah Henn HaywardSarah Henn HaywardSarah Henn Hayward
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    • Home
    • Giving Up God
    • Kid Critter Series
    • Bio
    • Media
    • Blog
    • Contact
  • Home
  • Giving Up God
  • Kid Critter Series
  • Bio
  • Media
  • Blog
  • Contact

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giving up god: resurrecting a spirituality of love & wonder

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Book Synopsis

After 35 years as a devout, self-proclaimed Jesus freak—spending summers on mission trips, leading Bible studies, and joining the church leadership team—Sarah Henn Hayward has stopped believing in a Higher Being altogether. 


She found herself grieving the loss of her core identity and struggling to see a way forward without God at the helm. While she remained grateful for her former faith and the many ways it shaped her, she needed a new lens through which to process good and evil, purpose and meaning. 


In Giving Up God, Sarah wrestles for a new identity as she resurrects herself from her former beliefs, exploring new vistas in physics, philosophy, and alternative theologies and drawing inspiration from the natural world. 


Follow Sarah's Amazon Author account for book updates.

what others are saying about giving up god

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spiritual memoir deconversion book exvangelical former christian book agnostic book deconstruction
spiritual memoir deconversion book exvangelical former christian book agnostic book deconstruction
spiritual memoir deconversion book exvangelical former christian book agnostic book deconstruction
spiritual memoir deconversion book exvangelical former christian book agnostic book deconstruction
spiritual memoir deconversion book exvangelical former christian book agnostic book deconstruction

Giving up God (A story of faith, doubt, and growth)

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Book Illustrations

On Growing up with Scoliosis

On Growing up with Scoliosis

Since it increases the publishing cost quite a bit to include color and photography, I am uploading photos to go along with the stories I tell in the book here instead!


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On Growing up with Scoliosis

On Growing up with Scoliosis

On Growing up with Scoliosis

"The experience reinforced an internal belief that was developing in me: being a good person, praying, and asking God for what you want worked!” 

My Exclusive Faith Expanded

On Growing up with Scoliosis

My Exclusive Faith Expanded

I could write a whole book of stories from those five months I spent in Australia. 

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Lifelong Bookworm

On LGBTQIA+ Acceptance and Allyship

My Exclusive Faith Expanded

In junior high school I happened to pick A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L’Engle off the school bookshelf. To say that moment changed my life forever would not be an exaggeration." 

On LGBTQIA+ Acceptance and Allyship

On LGBTQIA+ Acceptance and Allyship

On LGBTQIA+ Acceptance and Allyship

My heart pounded as I allowed myself to admit that I no longer believed that homosexuality as an orientation or homosexual behavior itself were sinful.

Getting Political (and Progressive)

On LGBTQIA+ Acceptance and Allyship

On LGBTQIA+ Acceptance and Allyship

As soon as I started paying attention to politics, I was drawn to the liberal side of things. 

An Early Love of the Great Outdoors

An Early Love of the Great Outdoors

An Early Love of the Great Outdoors

Nature has always held a special allure for me. 

Getting Muddy

An Early Love of the Great Outdoors

An Early Love of the Great Outdoors

We became the Fijian version of the Swamp Thing while connecting with our inner 3-year-old selves!

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SCUBA Diving in Fiji

An Early Love of the Great Outdoors

SCUBA Diving in Fiji

A whole new world opened up to me. I felt like an intruder on another planet or in a magical new dimension. Off in the distance, past the huge coral formations, the ocean floor stretched out, dark and beckoning." 

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Hiking in the Snow

Hiking in the Snow

SCUBA Diving in Fiji

Wisps of cloud played in front of the sun, causing the surface of the water to morph and change colors like a giant prism.

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River Teacher

Hiking in the Snow

The Voice of God?

A whirlwind of activity and adventure brought me to my new home. Just like life, rivers rush ahead without a pause. They may speed up, slow down, and even change course, but they constantly push forward.

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The Voice of God?

Hiking in the Snow

The Voice of God?

I experienced something strange myself while hiking in the Superstition Mountains near Phoenix, Arizona, where I spent two months in the spring of 2010.

Epic Summer Travels

The Lessons of the Fog

The Lessons of the Fog

The summer of 2009 lives in my mind as an unforgettable adventure of the most epic proportions. 

The Lessons of the Fog

The Lessons of the Fog

The Lessons of the Fog

A view of the sailboat-filled bay. Fog obscured the further edges of the inlet and streamed through the branches of a nearby rose bush. Making myself comfortable in the Adirondack, I relaxed into this snug scene, and my mind was drawn to the fog.

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A Part of Nature

The Lessons of the Fog

Universal Connection

I looked to the wisdom of the established Ponderosa Pines and the fleeting beauty of the spring balsamroot flowers for life lessons. 

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Universal Connection

Suffering in the Great Outdoors

Universal Connection

The reverberation of everyone's voice making the same sound filled the nave with a steady hum that made all the molecules in the air and in my body vibrate at one frequency. The sense of connection overwhelmed me.

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On Vulnerability

Suffering in the Great Outdoors

Suffering in the Great Outdoors

One of the worst parts of losing my faith has been the struggle to stay optimistic. It’s harder to believe that everything will work out in the end when I no longer imagine God crashing through and destroying evil at some point in the future.

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Suffering in the Great Outdoors

Suffering in the Great Outdoors

Suffering in the Great Outdoors

I learned what I am capable of, what storms I can weather, what challenges I can overcome. Nature inspires the courage I need to overcome new obstacles and persist through difficulty.


Copyright © 2025 Sarah Henn Hayward - All Rights Reserved.


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